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"The greater the feeling of responsibility for the person the more true love there is."
-Pope John Paul II
-Pope John Paul II
The Wedding
Prelogue
As a Vietnamese-American Catholic couple, we wanted to incorporate our cultures into our wedding day. Here are some ideas for fellow Vietnamese or Catholic brides.
Catholic Culture
Our faith is our life and our identity so here are a few ways we plan to incorporate it.
PRE‐WEDDING
PRE‐WEDDING
- Marriage preparation classes like Theology of the Body, Pre‐Cana, FOCCUS inventory, and Sympto‐Thermal Natural Family Planning (NFP)
- Invitations mention "Nuptial Mass" and "Sacrament of Matrimony" to signify the two sacraments we'll be celebrating
- The most important: Having a full Nuptial Mass so that we can celebrate the Eucharist together, the source and summit of our Catholic faith
- Escorting each other down the aisle to more fully reflect the Rite of Marriage as the Church teaches that the bride and groom mutually, freely, and equally enter into marriage and administer the sacrament to one another
- Attaching a Miraculous Metal to bouquet wrapping
- Using religious clipart on the Mass program to emphasize the meaning of the Mass
- Using our baptismal names on our invitations, programs, and during our vows
- Listing the names of our godparents in the program
- Having a blusher over face until after vows
- Memorizing our vows so we can remember it throughout life
- Venerating Mary during the Offering to the Blessed Virgin Mary after Eucharist, because she is the perfect example of wife and mother, and to the Holy Family as model, so we hope to emulate in their life together
- Displaying our Apostolic Papal Blessing Certificate at the guest book table
- Saying grace before meal starts
- First private evening prayer as Mr. & Mrs. because it will have been a long day to thank for!
- First Mass together as Mr. & Mrs. on Sunday
Vietnamese-American Culture
Here are a few incorporations.
PRE‐WEDDING
MASS
RECEPTION
PRE‐WEDDING
- Having a Lễ Đính Hôn (Vietnamese engagement ceremony)
- Avoiding colors of royal purple and black because royal purple symbolizes sadness and black death
- Having all members of both families wear boutonnieres or corsages, which are called "family flowers"
- Having a Lễ Đón Dâu (a ceremonial procession where I get escorted to the church by FI)
MASS
- "Asian time"! Starting the Mass 20 minutes later than stated in the invitations, which is unfair to those who are on time, but the alternative is to have 1/3 of the guests walk in as we're walking down the aisle
- Having the Mass in Vietnamese NOTE: We're aiming to have some parts of the Mass in English
RECEPTION
- Having 20 extra seats at the reception for guests who did not RSVP because with the likely chance they will arrive, not having a seat for them is offensive; even if doesn't seem fair, it is Vietnamese diplomacy. Not doing so is being cheap in our Vietnamese circle.
- Wearing ao dai (dress) and khan dong (headdress) during cake cutting
- Cake icing not too sweet, like Swiss meringue icing, to meet our Vietnamese guests' taste buds
- Table visiting at 3-5 mins per table
- Being a multi‐dress bride!
- Lucky money as the main form of wedding gift NOTE: We did decide to have a gift registry for folks who are more comfortable with that
Defying Tradition
We got rid of these traditions:
- Unity Candle
- Seated Dinner
- Father-Daughter dance
- Mother-Son dance
New Spin to Tradition
Here are our personal touches to the wedding:
- FI wearing scuba gear while doing the garter toss
- Having 4 toss bouquets instead of 1; each with an inspirational quote attached
- Throwing pig TY beanie babies because our nicknames are Piggy
Family Traditions
My grandparents and parents have passed to us a few traditions that are unique to our family.
- We are taking a photo of my dress hanging next to my mom's
- My parents are giving me heirloom jewelry
- The priest presiding over our Mass will be our family priest
- My parents escorted each other down the aisle and so will we
- My grandparents and my parents were readers of the Liturgy for their wedding and so will we
Possibilities For New Traditions for Next Generation
Our future kids are dang lucky we will likely have something to give them. Here are a few ideas:
- My dresses, veil, and ao dai
- Our Vera Wang Wedgewood serving set was engraved with just our last name to fit any occasion
- Our Waterford toasting flutes
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