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The Wedding
Apostolic Papal Blessing
An Apostolic Papal Blessing is a beautiful way to remind you of the invisible graces God provides you during your Sacramental life as husband and wife. To get an Apostolic Papal Blessing, you must go through your parish. My deacon submitted an application to the Chancery Office (every diocese has one) who then sent it to the Apostolic Blessings Office of Papal Charities at the Vatican. Beware of knock offs at many Catholic bookstores.
These are the criteria:
1. You and your FI must be baptized Catholics in good standing as determined by your priest or deacon
2. The wedding must not yet be passed
3. You must order at least three months ahead of your wedding date
These are the criteria:
1. You and your FI must be baptized Catholics in good standing as determined by your priest or deacon
2. The wedding must not yet be passed
3. You must order at least three months ahead of your wedding date
Nuptial Mass
The Eucharist is very important to us, as it is the source and summit of our faith. A Nuptial Mass celebrates two sacraments: Eucharist and Marriage. The two readings, Gospel, homily, and exchange of vows will be in English; the rest in Vietnamese.
Invitation Wording
A Nuptial Mass celebrates two sacraments: Sacrament of Eucharist and Sacrament of Marriage and I've bolded the words that denote both of them. These are four common Catholic invitation wordings.
Mr. & Mrs. [bride's parents]
& Mr. & Mrs. [groom's parents] request the honour of your presence at the Nuptial Mass uniting their children [bride] & [groom] in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony [date & time] [church] |
The honor of your presence is requested
at the celebration of the Nuptial Mass as [bride] & [groom] are united in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony [date & time] [church] |
Mr. and Mrs. [bride's parents]
request the honour of your presence at the Nuptial Mass uniting their daughter [bride] & Mr. [groom] son of Mr. and Mrs. [groom's parents] in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony [date & time] [church] |
Together with their families
[bride] & [groom] request the honour of your presence at their marriage in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony and the celebration of the Nuptial Mass [date & time] [church] |
Paper Fans
Our church is hot in the summer even with the A/C. We got plenty of paper fans to help combat the heat.
Precession
We decided to more fully reflect the Rite of Marriage and we are going to escort each other down the aisle. The Church teaches that the bride and groom mutually, freely, and equally enter into marriage and administer the sacrament to one another. Our parents also escorted each other down the aisle. We're continuing this tradition.
Liturgy of the Word
Old Testament
A reading from the Book of Sirach 26:1-4, 13-16
Blessed the husband of a good wife,
twice-lengthened are his days;
A worthy wife brings joy to her husband,
peaceful and full is his life.
A good wife is a generous gift
bestowed upon him who fears the Lord;
Be he rich or poor, his heart is content,
and a smile is ever on his face.
A gracious wife delights her husband,
her thoughtfulness puts flesh on his bones;
A gift from the Lord is her governed speech,
and her firm virtue is of surpassing worth.
Choicest of blessings is a modest wife,
priceless her chaste soul.
A holy and decent woman adds grace upon grace;
indeed, no price is worthy of her temperate soul.
Like the sun rising in the Lord’s heavens,
the beauty of a virtuous wife is the radiance of her home.
New Testament
A reading from the Letter of Saint Paul to the Ephesians 5:2a, 25-32
(Short Form)Brothers and sisters:
Live in love, as Christ loved us
and handed himself over for us.
Husbands, love your wives,
even as Christ loved the Church
and handed himself over for her to sanctify her,
cleansing her by the bath of water with the word,
that he might present to himself the Church in splendor,
without spot or wrinkle or any such thing,
that she might be holy and without blemish.
So also husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.
He who loves his wife loves himself.
For no one hates his own flesh
but rather nourishes and cherishes it,
even as Christ does the Church,
because we are members of his Body.
For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother
and be joined to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh.
This is a great mystery,
but I speak in reference to Christ and the Church.
Remain in my love.
Gospel
A reading from the holy Gospel according to John 15:9-12
Jesus said to his disciples:
“As the Father loves me, so I also love you.
Remain in my love.
If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love,
just as I have kept my Father’s commandments
and remain in his love.
I have told you this so that my joy might be in you
and your joy might be complete.
This is my commandment: love one another as I love you.
A reading from the Book of Sirach 26:1-4, 13-16
Blessed the husband of a good wife,
twice-lengthened are his days;
A worthy wife brings joy to her husband,
peaceful and full is his life.
A good wife is a generous gift
bestowed upon him who fears the Lord;
Be he rich or poor, his heart is content,
and a smile is ever on his face.
A gracious wife delights her husband,
her thoughtfulness puts flesh on his bones;
A gift from the Lord is her governed speech,
and her firm virtue is of surpassing worth.
Choicest of blessings is a modest wife,
priceless her chaste soul.
A holy and decent woman adds grace upon grace;
indeed, no price is worthy of her temperate soul.
Like the sun rising in the Lord’s heavens,
the beauty of a virtuous wife is the radiance of her home.
New Testament
A reading from the Letter of Saint Paul to the Ephesians 5:2a, 25-32
(Short Form)Brothers and sisters:
Live in love, as Christ loved us
and handed himself over for us.
Husbands, love your wives,
even as Christ loved the Church
and handed himself over for her to sanctify her,
cleansing her by the bath of water with the word,
that he might present to himself the Church in splendor,
without spot or wrinkle or any such thing,
that she might be holy and without blemish.
So also husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.
He who loves his wife loves himself.
For no one hates his own flesh
but rather nourishes and cherishes it,
even as Christ does the Church,
because we are members of his Body.
For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother
and be joined to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh.
This is a great mystery,
but I speak in reference to Christ and the Church.
Remain in my love.
Gospel
A reading from the holy Gospel according to John 15:9-12
Jesus said to his disciples:
“As the Father loves me, so I also love you.
Remain in my love.
If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love,
just as I have kept my Father’s commandments
and remain in his love.
I have told you this so that my joy might be in you
and your joy might be complete.
This is my commandment: love one another as I love you.
Music Selections
For the prelude and postlude, our favorite musicians are JS Bach, Vivaldi, Telemann, Handel, and Albonini. I don't know if you can tell yet but we're nuts about Baroque. We threw in a few favorite non-Baroque pieces for wider recognition.
Prelude
Suite No. 1 in G major BWV 1007: Prelude by JS Bach
Rondeau aka "Masterpiece Theatre" by Mouret
Cantata BWV 156: Arioso by JS Bach
Concerto Grosso in D Minor: Allegro by Vivaldi
NOTE: These are a mixture of alternating meditative minor keys and lively major keys
Parents Procession
Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring by JS Bach
NOTE: Soft and meditative
Wedding Party Procession
Canon in D by Pachelbel
NOTE: Soft and meditative
Bride & Groom Procession
Trumpet Voluntary by Clark
NOTE: Rather a meditative sound, we wanted to march in to a majestic and cheerful piece
Preparation of Gifts
Con Dang Len Ngai
NOTE: Vietnamese hymn sung by cantor
Communion
Con Qui Day
NOTE: Vietnamese hymn sung by cantor
Offering to the Blessed Virgin Mary
Ave Maria by Bach-Gounod
Recessional
Fireworks "La Rouissance" by GF Handel
NOTE: We end the Nuptial Mass with booming pieces as Handel does beautifully
Postlude
Brandenburg Concerto #3 in G Major BMV 1048: Allegro Moderato by JS Bach
Brandenburg Concerto #2 in F major BWV 1047: Allegro Assai by JS Bach
Suite #2 in B minor BWV 1067: Rondeau by JS Bach
Prelude
Suite No. 1 in G major BWV 1007: Prelude by JS Bach
Rondeau aka "Masterpiece Theatre" by Mouret
Cantata BWV 156: Arioso by JS Bach
Concerto Grosso in D Minor: Allegro by Vivaldi
NOTE: These are a mixture of alternating meditative minor keys and lively major keys
Parents Procession
Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring by JS Bach
NOTE: Soft and meditative
Wedding Party Procession
Canon in D by Pachelbel
NOTE: Soft and meditative
Bride & Groom Procession
Trumpet Voluntary by Clark
NOTE: Rather a meditative sound, we wanted to march in to a majestic and cheerful piece
Preparation of Gifts
Con Dang Len Ngai
NOTE: Vietnamese hymn sung by cantor
Communion
Con Qui Day
NOTE: Vietnamese hymn sung by cantor
Offering to the Blessed Virgin Mary
Ave Maria by Bach-Gounod
Recessional
Fireworks "La Rouissance" by GF Handel
NOTE: We end the Nuptial Mass with booming pieces as Handel does beautifully
Postlude
Brandenburg Concerto #3 in G Major BMV 1048: Allegro Moderato by JS Bach
Brandenburg Concerto #2 in F major BWV 1047: Allegro Assai by JS Bach
Suite #2 in B minor BWV 1067: Rondeau by JS Bach
Catholic Traditions
We are not incorporating a Lighting of the Unity Candle because it is not Catholic in root and has no liturgical purpose. In a Catholic Liturgy, large candles should only symbolize Christ, not the bride and groom. We aren't huge fans of adding anything to the Liturgy because it is beautiful as is.
But we are doing an Offering to the Blessed Virgin Mary, which is a veneration (not worship) of her. It usually takes place at the statue of Mary to the left of the altar. We look to Mary as the perfect example of wife and mother, and to the Holy Family as model, so we hope to emulate in our lives together. We'll be praying that Mary's example will guide our family on God's path for us.
But we are doing an Offering to the Blessed Virgin Mary, which is a veneration (not worship) of her. It usually takes place at the statue of Mary to the left of the altar. We look to Mary as the perfect example of wife and mother, and to the Holy Family as model, so we hope to emulate in our lives together. We'll be praying that Mary's example will guide our family on God's path for us.
Vows
The heart of the Rite of Marriage is the exchange of vows. We are going to memorize ours and not repeat after the priest. This makes our vows most memorable to us for life.
Aisle Runner
FI is going to paint our monogram at the end of the aisle runner using these DIY instructions, compliments of Road to the Aisle Blog.
inspiration
End of Mass
Inspiration was everywhere at the wedding scene from the 1995 movie Sense and Sensibility. I loved the ribbon wands carried by the kids at the wedding. They have such a bucolic look.
Scenes from Sense and Sensibility
{Rex & Regina blog}
{Rex & Regina blog}
inspiration
To make those ribbon wands, I needed tons of dummy-proof DIY articles and I decided to embark on this project. The one we used is from the Ruffled blog. We're planning to use them at the exit of the church like below.
inspiration
{Lovely and Gracious Design Studio}
{Lovely and Gracious Design Studio}
inspiration
{Love The Schultz}
{Love The Schultz}
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Budget Tips
TIP: Some parishes require the flowers at the altar to be donated to the church. They may be tax‐deductible.
Etiquette Tips
TIP: These are common Roman Catholic clerical titles.
Bishop: The Very Reverend
Monsignor: The Reverend Monsignor or The Very Reverend
Diocesan priest: The Reverend
Priests who are members of religious orders: The Reverend Father
Priests who are abbots of monasteries: The Right Reverend
Transitional deacon: Reverend Mr. or Deacon
Permanent deacon: Deacon
"Father" is what you call a Roman Catholic priest. If you're addressing him in person, use "Father."
Final note, not to make it more confusing, but this only applies to the Roman Catholic Church. A lot of this will not apply if you're talking about the Eastern Catholic Church. While according to Wiki about 98% of Catholics are Roman Rite Catholics, there are other Catholic rites such as the Byzantine Rite, which follow different clerical titles.
Bishop: The Very Reverend
Monsignor: The Reverend Monsignor or The Very Reverend
Diocesan priest: The Reverend
Priests who are members of religious orders: The Reverend Father
Priests who are abbots of monasteries: The Right Reverend
Transitional deacon: Reverend Mr. or Deacon
Permanent deacon: Deacon
"Father" is what you call a Roman Catholic priest. If you're addressing him in person, use "Father."
Final note, not to make it more confusing, but this only applies to the Roman Catholic Church. A lot of this will not apply if you're talking about the Eastern Catholic Church. While according to Wiki about 98% of Catholics are Roman Rite Catholics, there are other Catholic rites such as the Byzantine Rite, which follow different clerical titles.
Planning Tips
TIP: Make sure the priest has made clear the limitations of the services of your florist, photographer and videographer at the church. Ask. Sometimes priests forget and then you get not‐so‐happy surprises on the Big Day.
TIP: If you get to the church and you forgot the rings but can't go back, don't fret: temporarily borrow your parents' rings.
TIP: If you get to the church and you forgot the rings but can't go back, don't fret: temporarily borrow your parents' rings.
Church Canon and Rubrics
Q: I'm Catholic but not yet confirmed. Do I need to be confirmed before getting married in the Catholic Church?
A: Confirmation is an initiation sacrament, while marriage is a vocational sacrament. It would make sense to be fully initiated before choosing a vocation. Only a priest can answer this question fully. Refer to Can. 1065.
Can. 1065 §1 Catholics who have not yet received the sacrament of confirmation are to receive it before being admitted to marriage, if this can be done without grave inconvenience.
A: Confirmation is an initiation sacrament, while marriage is a vocational sacrament. It would make sense to be fully initiated before choosing a vocation. Only a priest can answer this question fully. Refer to Can. 1065.
Can. 1065 §1 Catholics who have not yet received the sacrament of confirmation are to receive it before being admitted to marriage, if this can be done without grave inconvenience.
Resources
Mass
Step by Step Explanation of the Mass
Catholic Marriage Preparation
Catholic Resources
Article on Liturgical Practices by US Conference of Catholic Bishops
FAQ on marriage by US Conference of Catholic Bishops
Preparing for Marriage by US Conference of Catholic Bishops
Catholic Program
Catholic Wedding Help
DIY Wedding Mass Booklet
Catholic Hymns for Liturgy
Hymn Print
Catholic Books
"The Good News About Sex and Marriage" by Christopher West
"Theology of the Body for Beginners" by Christopher West
"God's Plan for a Joy-filled Marriage" by Christopher West
"100 Q&A on Catholic Marriage Preparation" by Nappi & Kendall
Natural Family Planning
Couples to Couples League's Thermo-Sympto Method
Creighton Method
Notable female Saints who were married
St. Frances of Rome
St. Elizabeth of Hungary
St. Gianna Beretta Molla
Step by Step Explanation of the Mass
Catholic Marriage Preparation
Catholic Resources
Article on Liturgical Practices by US Conference of Catholic Bishops
FAQ on marriage by US Conference of Catholic Bishops
Preparing for Marriage by US Conference of Catholic Bishops
Catholic Program
Catholic Wedding Help
DIY Wedding Mass Booklet
Catholic Hymns for Liturgy
Hymn Print
Catholic Books
"The Good News About Sex and Marriage" by Christopher West
"Theology of the Body for Beginners" by Christopher West
"God's Plan for a Joy-filled Marriage" by Christopher West
"100 Q&A on Catholic Marriage Preparation" by Nappi & Kendall
Natural Family Planning
Couples to Couples League's Thermo-Sympto Method
Creighton Method
Notable female Saints who were married
St. Frances of Rome
St. Elizabeth of Hungary
St. Gianna Beretta Molla
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